Theoden: *drapes over Eowyn* hiii
Theoden: I haven't been fed today. *big sad eyes at her*
Eowyn: Well, come on. I've got dinner ready.
Eowyn: Go get Melly and we can eat.
Theoden: *goes to retrieve her from her latest project* Is she supposed to have matches?
Melkor: You said you wouldn't tell!
Theoden: I didn't! You just did!
Melkor: How I loathe you humans
Eowyn: *holds out her hand* Matches, please.
Melkor: *puts a few matches into her hand* I was just trying to sacrifice to myself for power
Theoden: Nothing living
Eowyn: I hope not. Sit down, I have dinner ready.
Theoden: *eats happily* Noni's all mopey lately.
Eowyn: *cuts Melkor's meat for him* Why is that?
Theoden: I try not to inquire. I always find out she's done something horrible with elves again.
Melkor: *grabs the meat with his hand and gnaws* *gnawgnawgnaw*
Eowyn: MELLY. Use your fork. Theo, what do you mean, something horrible with elves?
Melkor: I will eat my meat like a man!
Theoden: Nothing I'm mentioning in front of your adopted offspring
Eowyn: You will eat your meat with a fork. *to Theo* Why is that so horrible?
Theoden: Because she's my *sister*. And I'm not sure I'm up to dealing with becoming an uncle or something
Theoden: I'm a bad enough influence as it is
Eowyn: Hmmm. You can't trust that she knows what she's doing?
Theoden: Of course not.
Melkor: You mortals *are* rather stupid.
Theoden: Thank you for your contribution, o dark lord whom I tremble before.
Melkor: *happy gnawing*
Eowyn: *shakes her head*
Theoden: See, the other reason I shouldn't be allowed near kids
Eowyn: Well, what's going on with Noni?
Theoden: I'm just guessing, I don't actually know. But since we haven't had a fight or really talked about anything besides Burgie, I'm assuming it has to do with her elf
Theoden: Or maybe she's totally fine and I can't remember what happy Noni is like.
Eowyn: She has an elf?
Eowyn: Really. I should not be surprised.
Melkor: I hate his father *grabs for his milk*
Eowyn: You don't even know his father.
Melkor: Fingolfin. He hurt me.
Theoden: And stole your candy?
Melkor: Don't taunt me, human
Eowyn: *sighs* No bickering please.
Theoden: I'm not bickering! I'm just being a bully
Melkor: I will destroy him, you know. And the rest of his pitiful family
Theoden: But I thought we were friends. *mock sad face*
Melkor: The elf. *pauses* And you.
Melkor: *hunches down like a turtle*
Eowyn: No death threats to Theo.
Theoden: I like this rule
Eowyn: It's unkind. What did I say about being unkind?
Melkor: I'm a dark lord! A DARK LORD
Theoden: I used to be just like this when I was little.
Eowyn: *looks at Melkor*
Melkor: ...I want dessert
Eowyn: Are you going to be unkind?
Melkor: I will be very kind if it is cake
Eowyn: It's pie, actually.
Melkor: *considering look* What kind?
Eowyn: Chocolate cream.
Melkor: I will be kind.
Eowyn: *nods and serves dessert*
Theoden: I found out Wynnie was still going to Maglor's too
Eowyn: Oh, how did you find that out?
Theoden: She told me. And then showed me the knife Maglor made her.
Melkor: She was keeping a knife from me!?
Eowyn: Eat your pie. Why can't she see Maglor, Theo?
Theoden: It drives Noni insane.
Eowyn: Are you worried Maglor will hurt her?
Theoden: Well, the killing spree hasn't helped reassure me she wouldn't.
Melkor: She hurts me!
Eowyn: I know, and you're supposed to stay away from her, miss.
Melkor: You must help me smite that stupid bard!
Eowyn: To be fair to Maglor, she doesn't seem inclined to hurt Wynnie.
Theoden: Still, Eowyn.
Eowyn: *to Melkor* No smiting. *to Theo* Yes, I understand.
Theoden: Maglor did give me a bunch of money yesterday *nibbles on his piece of pie*
Eowyn: She did? Why?
Theoden: Accidentally made her feel guilty. It was really hard not to thank her for paying for my services
Eowyn: Not a good idea.
Theoden: I know. Sometimes I'm okay at not being inappropriate. Right?
Eowyn: Well, at least you held back.
Theoden: And got money out of it. Sexburg stole it right after though.
Eowyn: Why did she steal it?
Theoden: So it didn't look like a bribe. Also because she sucks
Eowyn: A bribe?
Theoden: I think she just wanted to take it
Eowyn: Why would she think it was a bribe, though?
Theoden: We were doing knight work. Sorry, forgot to mention that. It's amazingly ineffectual
Eowyn: Why did you have knight work with Maglor?
Theoden: I think she's the reason sugar's gotten more expensive.
Eowyn: Okay. *trying to follow this* So you were talking to her about that and she gave you a lot of money?
Theoden: I maaaay have mentioned the whole slicing me up thing
Eowyn: *shakes head* It does sound like it could be a bribe.
Theoden: I guess.
Theoden: You doubt my prowess as a prostitute to the elves? It could just have been payment
Eowyn: *facepalm* Oh Theo.
Eowyn: Why did you bring it up to Maglor, anyway, if you were on knight business?
Theoden: It was more of a 'I'm not going to press this because you're sort of insane'
Eowyn: If you think she's insane, that probably wasn't your best course of action.
Theoden: Meh meh meh
Eowyn: Okay, fine.
Melkor: Natural selection!
Eowyn: *wryly* She may have a point.
Theoden: Do not listen to the tiny evil
Eowyn: Well, if you think she's dangerous, and you're worried about her hurting Wynnie, taunting her is not the best idea.
Theoden: It wasn't really a *taunt* so much as something that just popped out
Eowyn: *nods* Still. You're worried that she'll try to hurt you.
Theoden: A bit, yeah.
Melkor: should I get a doll so he can point at bits to fill me in on this conversation?
Eowyn: Don't you have dark arts and crafts to do?
Melkor: Bah! *climbs down his chair and scurries off*
Theoden: So do you have any idea where she comes from? Because that was uh...
Eowyn: Melly? I just found her in the streets.
Theoden: I am curious
Eowyn: I don't know, really.
Theoden: I think her owners have a lot to explain
Eowyn: Oh Theo.
Theoden: What? WHAT?
Theoden: Parents. Whatever. Whoever she comes from
Eowyn: *nods* Yeah.
Theoden: Any clues?
Eowyn: Well. She really does think she's Melkor. Sometimes I wonder.
Theoden: It isn't like she's gotten confirmation from any area
Eowyn: *shrugs* I know that she's supposed to stay away from the elves. Because she threatens them.
Theoden: With kneebiting?
Eowyn: You know, smiting.
Eowyn: She does seem to like taunting Maglor. Like you.
Theoden: I swear I'm not taunting
Eowyn: But Melly is.
Theoden: Oh, probably
Eowyn: Yes, I hope she outgrows it. Or settles down. Something.
Theoden: Is it that bad?
Eowyn: *sighs* She's a little obsessed.
Theoden: My little sister Swanhild had a period where she was convinced she was a horse. Maybe it'll pass
Eowyn: I hope so.
Theoden: Well, Swanhild never actually *did* grow out of it on account of dying and all, but I'm sure it won't come to that
Eowyn: Oh, well. Yes.
Theoden: I'm sure she'll be fine!
Eowyn: Well, she does have moments of not.... being evil.
Eowyn: .... although she's always offering to make me immortal.
Theoden: You could make it all the way back around to where you came from
Eowyn: I hadn't thought of that. *grins*
Theoden: Just take your place!
Theoden: Thank you for dinner. You are a lovely person
Eowyn: You're welcome. And you're always welcome here.
Theoden: Am I anything like the Theoden you remember?
Eowyn: Handsome. *grins*
Eowyn: And stubborn.
Eowyn: *smiles* You asked.
Theoden: *sticks his tongue out*
Eowyn: I don't remember him being a brat...
Theoden: I'm so not a brat.
Eowyn: *just laughs at him*